sperm

So tonight I get an interesting call from the man I call the sperm donor of my beautiful child. Never mind the fact that we were once married. I only married him because he planted a seed inside of me that turned into a baby, therefore, sperm donor, dumbass, loser, dipshit, gave me the best laugh tonight that I could have ever asked for.
It begins with a text,
Sperm Donor “I need to talk to you about the doctors”
Me as rolling my eyes and sighing “What Drs?” as I’m thinking you fucking dumbass
Sperm Donor “My doctors”
At that moment I had an AHA MOMENT. I just knew he was going to have some off the wall shit to tell me. Like always and for those that are not familiar with the infamous sperm donor’s little stories they are always entertaining and always provide for a good laugh. For some reason he seems to think I am a complete utter dumbass. I can only think that he thinks I am such a dumbass because 1 I let him put it in me 2 because I was DUMB enough to marry his stupid ass. Anyways he always has these stories to make himself feel better about being a complete waste of space in this world. So as I finish up with the gym I already know that he is going to tell me. That he has went to the doctor and now has an incurable disease and is likely going to die and this is why he can’t work or do anything else productive in his life.
Phone conversation begins and the bullshit starts . . . .
Sperm Donor “I went to the doctors to get my lithium refilled and they checked my blood count, because they have to when you’re on lithium.” (Might I add, you are soo fucked up at 30 and even before that you are soo bipolar and you have been on lithium for years and are a complete psycho without it- need I remind you the hell he put me through for years without it) so my blood count was high. Your normal blood count is like 1500 and mine was like 3500. It was triple. So this automatically assumes that it has to be cancer. They advise me that it is either leukemia, another type of cancer (at this time I am trying very hard not to laugh) or Hodgkin’s disease.
Me: “Well. Ok. You should pray for yourself” (because personally I am not going to pray for your ass. I gave that up about a year ago hoping you would find JESUS and become a decent person)
Sperm Donor “ So I went in at 9 this morning and they took some more blood to run some more tests, I had to wait UNTIL 4 THIS AFTERNOON WITH THE RESULTS. I’m sitting around thinking that I’m going to die, I know they are just going to call me and tell that I am going to die. So I get a call round noon today say to come in at 4 I go in expecting them to tell me I’m dying, but they told me that it is not cancer or Hodgkin’s disease. I was relieved but now they don’t know what I have (here comes the incurable disease I was telling you I had already figured out through one dumbass text message) So now they thinking it could be from my lithium intake and are going to test that, but my great grandmother died from the same thing. She died from Bleeding to death on the inside.”
Me “yes that is what Hodgkin’s disease does to one person”
Sperm Donor “no she didn’t have Hodgkin’s, they never found out what she had and she died bleeding to death on the inside.
Me “really, well”
Sperm donor “ so I’ve been bleeding for months in my gums (did I mention that he got $8000 veneers put in a few years ago WHEN HE WASN’T PAYING ME CHILD SUPPORT) and I haven’t told anyone because I didn’t think anything about it but now with my blood palate so high (yes he said blood palate) and my gums bleeding so much they are very concerned. I have to go in all day tomorrow to have more tests run. I feel that I needed to tell you this because you are my daughter’s mother and you should have the right to know. But if they cannot figure out what is wrong with me in 3 months I will have to go into the hospital and they will have to explode my veins (I’m thinking, hmmm veins exploding, not sure why a doctor would do this, but ok, pretty sure this is what happens at the last few stages of Hodgkin’s disease but he seems to be so adamant about it, I keep quiet) and then they will have to give me a blood palate transfusion (hmm blood palate transfusion, wouldn’t that just be a blood transfusion? But I say nothing and just sit there). I’m scared to death Rachel, I have no idea what is going on with me and I’m terrified.
Me “Sorry, hope they figure it out.
Conversation ends.
As many of you are reading you probably all think I’m some cruel heartless bitch and that I should not be reacting this way to my child’s father, well most of you do not know what hell I have gone through with this man and many of you will say even with all the hell that he has put you through, you wish bad things on him. I wouldn’t say I wish bad things upon Sperm Donor; however, he has made his bed and needs to deal with the consequences. I forgave him a long time ago for all the shit and hell he put me through and all the horrible things he did to me physically and mentally, but I will never forgive him for being a shitty worthless piece of shit dad to my beautiful daughter who doesn’t deserve this. I can’t tell you how many times she asks me “Why does daddy not have a job?” Why does daddy not have his own house” Why does he promise me stuff and it never happens” What happened to his car” numerous questions of disappointment that I have had to hear from my 8 year old because he is 30 and can’t get his shit together. Yes everyone makes me mistakes and you always have a chance to come back from them. If he never did anything else right in his life not breaking promises to her would be enough for me, but time over and over he continues to fuck with this little innocent girl because he doesn’t know how to grow the fuck up. I’m left sitting here telling her how much I love her and I don’t have the questions to these answers, how I wish I did but I don’t and she may never have them either. So as I end this I don’t really give a shit what any of you think of me. Some quotes say “don’t judge someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes” but my quote is “don’t judge me until you have had the shit walked out of you a million times by someone that couldn’t walk a mile without you.”
In conclusion, let me say that there is probably and I’m almost certain 90% sure that there is really nothing wrong with him. This is just another way for the Sperm Donor to get some attention. Yes at 30 he still goes to these extremes. And if he is dying form an incurable disease then all I have to say is, well I hope you made the best of it.