Sunday, February 20, 2011

Dear God I'm at your Mercy

Dear God, tonight I beg you to give me strength for my daughter. She is only 8 and struggling with some things that a normal 8 year old should not deal with. Dear God please give me the strength to not kill this man that is called her father. She has been crying for days and maybe even weeks about her dad. She wants to know why he lies to her, she wants to know why he is never in the same place and she wants to know why he will never change. Dear God please tell me what I am suppose to say to her. She loves him so much because he is her father, but it seems the older he gets the worse he becomes and falls short every year. She is hurting so bad God and I don't have the answers. I want to take the pain away from her, but I don't know how. She said she hates her life and this kills me. She is 8 she shouldn't feel this way. I try so hard as mother to give her everything I possibly can, but I will never be able to give her the love that she wants so bad from her father. I've asked her to lean on me God and asked her to please talk to me about these things because if she continues to hold these burdens in she is going to be miserable and act out in a way that is not who she is. She is a good child God but she is lost and hurt. Her dad has lied to her for so long and now she is realizing what he has done she is angry with him but at the same time wants him to change. But God I know he is never going to change, he is 30 and only becomes more of a failure each year. I beg you God to somehow give my baby girl a peace about this and not let it tear and wear her down like its doing now. I'm seeking guidance in the school counselor and maybe looking elsewhere but I feel like I'm at your mercy now and I am begging you to help me with this. She is my life, my heart, and my soul and seeing her like this is killing me. I know this is not my fault I know this, but God please help me to help her understand that I cannot control him and that I love her more than anything in this world.

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