Not only is it against everything I believe, I have found myself in this place where I can't stop. And I don't want to stop. I don't want to be this person, I'm not bad, I just have found something in the one place I never would have thought and now it consumes me. Ex6ited to wake up, excited to feel that feeling that I was not sure even existed inside of me. So here I am at 4:15 wide awake, can't sleep because I'm too damn excited and anxious. It probably had something to do with the dream and that you were in it. It's like you are always there but at a distance, never close enough to grab and take hold of... not mine for the taking yet wanting you so bad.
This madness has to stop, I'm like a little girl, sweaty palms, tingly stomach, nervous to make the wrong move. What has happened to me? Where is this strong woman I've been writing about for so damn long? You make me weak, which may be my strongest strength.Finally knowing that there is a part of me that does exist and maybe I'm not destined to be alone for the rest of eternity. Even if this excitement has to end, at leas t I know now that I am capable of feeling and wanting someone. I didn't ask for this and never meant for it to happen, but as cliche as it is. Things happen when you least expect them and at times that may not always be the easiest to understand.
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