Reflection

I wish that I could take away the anger and the attitude that I deal with on a daily basis. I find myself getting angry over the smallest things. I don't want to say I have a bad attitude but that my attitude is not the best most of the time. Last night at the gym I got so upset with this woman that was on a machine that I needed. I waited patiently for about 10 minutes then my blood started to boil because I know she saw me waiting there and could have easily asked if I wanted to do my sets as she took a break (which is what I would have done and have done numerous times) however she continued, finally after 15 minutes I storm off, pissed and cursing under my breath. I don't know why I tick this way and why something so small such as this would make me want to implode on someone. This is only one example. I fear so much that I am going to become this angry person, yet another reason why I have devoted myself to 4 weeks of just myself. It's day 4 and I have read a devotional each day and reading a daily verse, however I do not still moved but I am not giving up. It has only been 4 days, this 4 week discovery will probably turn into a lifetime of discovery. I have done very well on my new diet for the past 4 days and I have gotten back into my workout routine after being off for 2 weeks. I know this is a process and I feel that if I find Him, he can help me release this anger and soothe my attitude. He has to be the one in control, He has to be the one driving, and I have to sit in the passenger seat and keep my mouth shut. I am just so anxious to have that one moment with Him that I hear others say they have where I hear Him, feel His presence and know that He has not given up on me and will give me the guidance I need so bad.