Men

Men
How you cease to amaze me? At this point I'm a little pissed because I wrote this then my computer crashed and I didn't save the document so now I have to start all over. I admit that there was a point or more than one time in my life where men were not picked for their finer points with me. Now I have it down to a tee in what I look for in a man. However, after a year and a half relationship with whom I thought was the love of my life ended, I was heartbroken and wounded. I would date any good looking man whether he had ambitions or goals in life. I didn't look at the type of job they had or the dreams of what they wanted to be. I merely just wanted the attention which left me dating a lot of dead beat losers. Although I have to say because some were losers most were not bad guys, they were nice and never rude to me, except looking back now it would be a cold day in hell before I gave any of these "guys" a shot much less a date. Everyone has their way of coping with heartbreak, right? I was 25 before I ever officially fell head over heels and in love with a man, then ended up with a broken heart. No big deal now, I'm over it; however it took some idiots and douche bags for me to realize how much I didn’t need a man to make me get over something or for any reason. This one particular guy came to mind about 3 months ago when I received an anonymous text asking me how I was and what I've been up to. After finally deciding who it was I laughed out loud literally. He was a bartender that I went out with a few times from a local bar in town, cool guy, fun to hang out with, but very unrealistic for my lifestyle. I am a mother and a full time worker, and part time student. Did I even really have any reason to consider this guy as someone I would date? But I was lonely and needed to heal my wounded heart so I kept up the playing game with him, although he never really seemed interested in me other than to call me when he got off work at 3 or 4 in the morning (half drunk) most nights wanting to hang out! BIG RED LIGHT! Any man that calls you only at 3 or 4 in the morning after working at a bar and drinking is only up to one thing. Anyways, I move on and we remain friends, I would see him when I went to the bar and we were always friendly, I mean why not. But at the time we were talking I "thought" I really liked him, when really I knew nothing about him. He is my age and has been working in the same bar for about 5 years now. Wonder where this guy is going? I’m going to say he probably doesn’t have much ambition. His job profession has nothing to do with the money, because I do not care what a man makes. I make my own money and provide for myself, money is not something I look for in a man, but ambition is. Anyhow! After a year going by I haven't heard or seen from Mr. Bartender until about 3 months ago when I get this text. After a few texts he decides to confide in me that he and his girlfriend broke up and he thought of me. Number 1: wow thanks , I'm the rebound you thought of after your girlfriend crushed your heart, Number 2 you were by no means interested in me when I was interested in you and now you are texting me! HAHAHA. So I advise him that I am in a relationship and its going great. Well needless to say I never heard back from him until last night Halloween. I am sure he was drunk, because something I have learned about men is that for some reason whether they liked me or not I always seem to cross a drunken man's thoughts! Wow lucky girl me! Ha. Anyways he asked if I was going out and I said no, I have my daughter. Hello did you forget that I'm a mom or did you just never really pay attention to that. Were you too focused on my ass or if I was going to fuck you?! Probably so then he asked how the boyfriend was and I said "don’t have one" OOO then he is really interested, asks me to hang out on a Monday night? Really? Mr. Bartender "I'm a Mom with a job that requires me to be up at 6 am and go to school" but yet again, that is the farthest thing from his mind. I remind him of this and state I can't then ask if I want to hang out on Tuesday. At this point I'm just humored, more at myself for thinking at one point I was so interested in this guy. For crying out loud, he bartends and nothing else. Mr. Bartender you go to bed when I’m getting up for work. You sleep til about 4 in the afternoon and I'm getting off work. I'm sorry my friend but you are just not my type and you never were, you were going to be a band aid, but lord am I so happy that didn't work out. I guess the point of this is that this isn't the first time this has happened to me. Men that I once was attracted to or obviously trying to get with were never interested in me until they lost their appeal to me. Men always want what they can't have or what doesn't want them back anymore; however on the same note, Women are exactly the same way. No I am not saying that every man and every woman are this way, but the majority is. We always want what we can't have or can't get then when it comes back around and realized "shit he/she would have been a great person to be with" guess what?! We no longer want them. So boys/men if I haven't heard from you in a long time or seen you and you haven't heard from me, don't bother texting me or calling me because chances are I probably have forgotten you and almost 100% ashamed to have ever have been interested in you.