Dan Deacon & Liam Lynch - Drinking Out of Cups

Lissie - Kid Cudi live cover - Pursuit Of Happiness

This Song is by far my Favorite Song! Kid Cudi

Pursuit Of Happiness Lyrics

VERSE 1:
Crush a bit, little bit, roll it up, take a hit
Feelin’ lit feelin’ light, 2 am summer night.
I don't care, hand on the wheel, drivin drunk, I'm doin’ my thang
Rollin the Midwest side and out livin’ my life getting’ out dreams
People told me slow my roll I'm screaming out fuck that
Imma do just what I want lookin’ ahead no turnin’ back
if I fall if I die know I lived it till the fullest
if I fall if I die know I lived and missed some bullets

CHORUS
I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know everything that shine ain't always gonna be gold
I'll be fine once I get it, I'll be good. x2

VERSE 2:

Tell me what you know about dreamin’ dreamin’
you don't really know about nothin’ nothin’
tell me what you know about them night terrors every night
5 am, cold sweats wakin’ up to the skies
tell me what you know about dreams, dreams
tell me what you know about night terrors, nothin’
you don't really care about the trials of tomorrow
rather lay awake in a bed full of sorrow

CHORUS:

I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know everything that shines ain't always gonna be gold
I'll be fine once I get it, I'll be good


CHORUS:

I'm on the pursuit of happiness. I know everything that shines ain't always gold
I'll be fine once I get it, I'll be good. x2

CHORUS:

I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know everything that shines ain't always gonna be gold, hey
I'll be fine once I get it, yeah, I'll be good

I'm on the pursuit of happiness
And I know everything that shines ain't always gonna be gold, hey
I'll be fine once I get it, yeah
I'll be good

Pursuit of happiness, yeah
I don’t get it, I’ll be good

My thoughts: Kid Cudi summed up My Pursuit of Happiness in this song. I know all too well about night terrors and dreams. One of my favorite artists. Nothing more for me to say, the lyrics say it all.

As I sit at work with some downtime as I listen to my iPod I feel at a loss for words for the first time in awhile. I wonder how women like me keeps falling victim to such dumbasses and frauds. After everything I have been through I feel that each time my standards get higher and higher and I become harder to please by men. I've never been with a woman so I am not sure that even a woman could please me. However, recently I was fooled more than I feel that I have ever been fooled and I wasn't sure that could be accomplished after my ex-husband who was leading two lives. Although my ex was a drunk and dated underage woman I also knew something was not right about him. I could always sense it. However, recently I was blinded by a man that I thought had met all qualities that I finally knew I wanted in a man. I thought I feel in love with a man that in the end only was that man for a very short period. He told me stories of his ex girlfriend and her psychotic ways and how he only ever stayed with her because he just became comfortable. He portrayed to me that I was everything he was looking for so I brought him into my daughters life and allowed him to spend time with us, then literally three months later I started to see a change. All the things he did to get me, such as; sweet compliments, attention, respecting my ways on my body, mind, and soul. He was patient with me about sex, he was anxious to meet my daughter, or so I thought. Then it all stopped, and I don't mean that it all these things were not done as often, I mean they stopped. He stopped opening the doors for me, he stopped complimenting me, and the sex stopped. The connection that we had was lost so I ended it thinking it just didn't work out, only to find out months later that this crazy ex-girlfriend that he spoke so awful of he is now trying to communicate with her again and tell her how he missed them. And I'm just awe struck and confused. Was everything he told me about this girl even true? I'm beginning to think that she was not the crazy one but that he was the crazy one. There were a few instances where he snapped on me for no reason when he was drunk. He had done something to show his ass and made a fool out himself to turning it around on me, saying I was the one acting a fool and showing my ass and embarrassing him. He literally went psycho on my ass but I always tried to sum it up as he was "drunk" and then a great guy friend of mine said, "Rachel, a drunken man's actions and words are a sober man's thoughts" and it clicked and was like fuck this. It's only been 6 months why should I continue to deal with this. A relationship isn't supposed to suck to bad after 6 months right? You shouldn't have this many problems within the first 6 months but I thank God that this all did happen so quickly. I wanted to marry him and I wanted to have a child with him and I never wanted to have another child. I feel in love with an image he portrayed to only find out he is a completely different person and I am not sure he knows who he is. Anyways I do not understand how I wind up with men like this. I understood when I was younger and I understood how it happened before I got divorced. I had NO standards and no expectations, and now maybe I just have too many. The main reason for this blog is just to say I'm mind fucked after reading some exchanging emails from my most recent ex and his ex. Confusing and mind boggling how some people can lead two completely different lives, like Dr Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. On a positive note I have came to realize that I'm happier than ever in my life without any relationship to worry about, stress, about , or even enjoy. I have been able to find me and realize that my happiness was always there within me. I just always masked it with people that hid it from me and allowing me to show my true potential. Even if I'm alone until I die I honestly believe I will be happy just being a mother, and independent woman.

Smile

I smile for me and no one else
For years I’ve tried so hard to have this smile by forcing things in my life that never made the smile I have today
Now I smile for me
Because of me and no one else I’ve accomplished what I always thought someone else would provide for me
I never knew I could make myself smile
I never knew that I could be happy just by being me
I smile because after all the trials and tribulations I have turned out to be a pretty good mother
I smile because I’ve found my inner peace and don’t harbor so many demons in my life any longer.
I smile because cooking frees my soul in a way I never thought it could be freed
I smile because I’ve realized that I maybe all that I ever have so I better learn to use what makes me smile
I smile and I’m happy
I smile not because I am alone but because I know my real self
I smile because every day I learn something about me
I smile because I love myself
I smile dammit and that’s something pretty great

Angry

Angry
When I think of you
Angry
When I yell at you
Angry
When I cry on my knees about you
Angry
That I fell for someone who did not exist
Angry
At the world because of my own damn faults
Angry
At my mother for never caring or showing a drop of sentimental value
Angry
At the mistakes I have made
Angry
At the mistakes I continue to make
Angry
That my life has not gone where I wanted it to go
Angry
When I think of you
Angry
About the person I am
Angry
About the person I will continue to be
Angry
About life
Angry
About you
Angry
About love
Angry
That all I can think of is bashing your head into a wall
Angry
That this thought gives me sense of thrill rushing through my body
Angry
That I'm up and I'm down
Angry
That I'm never constant
Angry
That I cannot love
Angry
At the people I blame for the reasons I cannot love
Angry
More with myself than anyone else
Angry
Is all I have and all I live for
Angry
Keeps me going
Angry keeps me motivated
Angry
Is my energy
Angry
Is my life.

Some of my favorite Quotes

some favorite quotes
Sunday, June 14, 2009, 5:24:10 PM | Rachel Elizabeth Mitchell
“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.” Neil Gaiman “I am afraid to show you who I really am, because if I show you who I really am, you might not like it--and that's all I got.” Sabrina Ward Harrison “People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.” Jim Morrison This was unexpected, my soul’s connection to you. You stole my loneliness. No one knows that I was wishing for you, a thief, to enter my house of autonomy, that I had locked my doors but my windows were open, hoping, but not believing, you would enter. —Douglas Coupland Your narcissism is so cute, I just want to gag you, throw you into the trunk of my dad’s car, take the car, drive into the woods with you, kill a deer and then fuck you. Black metal style. Grevel Lindop After Baudelaire, ‘Les Bijoux’ Knowing just what I like, she keeps her jewels on when she strips, so stone and metal gleam and clash: she's slave and conqueror in one, light and sound melting in a single dream. She crouches, but won't let herself be loved, fixing her gaze on mine, a tigress tamed by lust and music, a body restless, moved from pose to pose, erotic, unashamed, that sleepy smile enhanced by her vermilion lipgloss; the oiled mahogany other thighs, her arms, her arse; an angel of destruction with childlike candour radiant in her eyes — until the song ends, and the red spotlights flood

Feb 1, 2010 Oldie

"Women, don't settle for 'Mr. Good Enough,' it's ok to be picky & hold out for love" HA!by Rachel Elizabeth Mitchell on Monday, February 1, 2010 at 3:16pm
Today I came across an article "Women, don't settle for 'Mr. Good Enough', it's ok to be picky & hold out for love." This caught my attention because too many times do I hear from my female friends that I am just too picky. I feel that after everything I went through and struggles, that I deserve nothing but the best. Yes I know sometimes I am too picky, but I feel that I have to be, not only for my sake, but for my daughter. I want her views on men when she grows up based on the values that I look for in a man. I do not want her to just pick any Tom, Dick, or Harry. I want her to have strong values and points that she looks for in a man. Yes some of mine are extreme, however I also believe that without them I would fall back into my old ways and date complete losers, men who had no goals or interest in making something of themselves. Money is not one thing I am picky about. A poor man is usually the man that treasures his wife or partners the most. Money does not buy love or happiness, at least not with this girl. Simple things in life are what make me smile. I just felt compelled to share this. It was nice to see an article stating that it is ok for me to be picky.

My Libido is on FIRE!

Missing
Missing you is like missing an Aneurysm
Missing
Missing my glasses because I forgot I left them on my head
Missing
Missing my sanity because I stopped taking those antidepressants
Missing
Missing the sleep that I got from those stupid ass antidepressants that I did take
Missing
Missing a piece of my heart from a man that stole it way too young
Missing
Missing the sex on a regular basis
Missing
Missing the sex drive I had before you ripped me of my confidence
Missing
Missing the life that I will never know I could have had
Missing
Missing is an adjective that one will never be able to escape
Missing
Missing is apart of life, no matter how happy you say you are
Missing
Missing the days when I could drink for days and not feel hung over for a week
Missing
Missing is all I have left.